When I hit that ‘publish’ button on the last blog post i wrote, I could feel that this time would be different.
I had never wanted to take down a post as much as I wanted to take that one down.
As a survivor of sexual assault, your worst nightmare is that people will say you are “just looking for attention”. That is exactly what happened.
I had not felt that heartbroken in a very long time.
Balled up on the floor, in tears, I thought of everything I’ve been through. I’ve been weak my whole life. I’ve been the victim my whole life. I’ve been the little quiet girl in the corner who took punches, carried insecurities, carried shame, used and abused. I was told to be quiet and to listen. I was told to talk like this, look like that, to be kind, not to offend anyone, dim it down and be polite.
A woman can try to be everything the world tells her to be and still end up drowned in tears on a cold cement floor.
Women who speak about sexual violence are almost never believed. We are shamed, belittled, criticised and then our character, bodies and choices become a subject for scrutiny.
You want me to speak but only when its soft, kind and controlled. You don’t get to control how I process and deal with my trauma.
I wiped my tears.
It’s time to get up.
It doesn’t matter what you’ve been through, life will still throw punches. My trauma is mine, and your trauma is yours. Your hard day might not look like mine but its just as valid. The force that knocks us down might not be the same but we all end up on the floor.
I’ve been on that floor a few times and this is what I’ve learned:
[Power] You must bet on yourself. You are your greatest masterpiece. When you know who you are, no one else compares. Who you are is your superpower.
[Revolution] Life can be crazy and people can be shitty. If you are waiting for anyone to care, they won’t. That sounds harsh but it might be one of the most liberating realizations I’ve ever had. It takes the pressure off and your eyes are opened to the reality of personal responsibility. If you haven’t read the “The Art of Not Giving a Fuck’ you should. The book’s title is a little intimidating to some but worth the read. The main takeaway is ‘Dont give a fuck about things that don’t matter and give all the fucks about the things you really care about’. When you have a vision of what you want to create in the world, you have to know that you are going to be met with criticism. Anyone who did anything great was met with hard work and a hard time from people. Focus on your vision and give it all the fucks you have.
[Beauty] Life is so extremely magical. There are so many beautiful human beings to intertwine with and breathtaking experiences to be had. See, touch, hear, feel and taste life. We only get one. Explore the world, dress up, dance, sing, eat and see places you never imagined you would. Time is going to pass whether you do or don’t.
In order for your life to change, you have to be willing to change. Give up self doubt, self destructive habits, waiting for people to apologise and all the excuses that keep you in your comfort zone.
It’s time to give up fear.
We’ve been on that floor crying for a very long time. It’s time to get up.
You will notice that the blog will change a little bit, it’s for the better. I promise to keep showing up wholeheartedly and I promise to still write in a way that is engaging, informative raw and authentic. I hope you choose to stay on this journey with me.
If you are wondering what’s next, here are a few of my obsessions and what I will be writing about:
I’m obsessed with personal development and personal wellbeing (but you know this already). I wholeheartedly believe that we can combat many of our social issues like gender based violence, the alcohol epidemic, chronic illness, lifestyle disease and poverty through the development of our people. I want to talk more about these issues and how we can take personal responsibility in the building of our nation.
I’m obsessed with business, entrepreneurship and the people who embark on these journeys. I started a business almost two years ago and it’s been the most difficult and rewarding experience of my life. I could write a book about all the lessons I’ve learned but I know that compared to people who have been doing this for years,I know nothing. I’m intrigued to know their philosophies, their routines, what drives them to push through times of uncertainty. As I document my business building journey I plan to share these golden nuggets. As I learn, we can all learn.
I’m obsessed with leveling up, looking and feeling good while creating a magical life. This is the chapter where we learn to take care of ourselves, expand, learn how to say no, learn how to build healthy meaningful relationships, healthy habits, how to break past our barriers and elevate to the next level of our lives.
This is the chapter where we learn that we can be strong, beautiful, powerful and revolutionary.
*The title of this post is in tribute to Winnie Mandela. At her funeral her daughter thanked her for reminding us all that we can be ‘beautiful, powerful and revolutionary’. I added the ‘strong’ and strong she definitely was.
Have you signed up for my mailing list? Don’t miss out on any of the fun stuff coming up. We will have workshops, events and one of these days I will finally announce that book I’ve been working on. I know that was a long post so if you are still here, many hugs, love and much light to you.
Yours with all the love in the world,